the dilemma

If you are faced with a dilemma and you need to choose between two good things, my advice is for you to think of yourself first. Selfish as it may sound, you are of no use to others if you’re broken or incomplete. Always prioritize the options that can better benefit you and yourself alone. If you have taken good care of yourself both physically and emotionally, damage control (from not choosing the other option) wouldn’t really be a daunting task.

If you are choosing between doing something good versus doing something bad, that would be an entirely different story.

* * *

It was a sad day for me.

I made an effort not to get attached but it seems like I failed. Changes will come whether I like it or not and all I can do is accept it and move on.

Some people may not be the center of our solar system, but their absence will definitely cause a shift on our axes.

Auld Lang Syne.

i am intelligent

This article claims that Facebook appeals mostly to non-thinkers – or “dullards” to quote it. Based on a study that the authors conducted, they were able to see a relationship between an individual’s “need for cognition” and their Facebook usage. The people who used the social networking site more had lower interest in learning. Since I barely use social networking sites, I couldn’t agree more with the article.

Because I don’t find socializing fun, I can classify myself as a high-NFC (need for cognition) individual, which I think, makes me smart. Haha…

And my logic just disproved that.

idle hands

A four-day holiday weekend is coming up. It’s only Tuesday and already I’m in my “holiday mode.” I haven’t touched any of my work-related tasks and it’s probably going to stay this way until tomorrow.

It’s weird that I’m excited for the long weekend even if I have nothing planned for it. I don’t practice catholic traditions, I don’t fancy out of town trips, and obviously, I don’t like socializing with other people so I have four whole days with no major, major activities.

I do have a lot of things on my to-do list. I guess there isn’t going to be a better time to work on them than on this week. Also, with most people out on vacation, the malls would probably be empty (I wish) – which makes this a good opportunity for me to do my window shopping.

I just need to make sure that I accomplish something during this free time. Most of our holidays this year fall on a weekend so this will probably be the last long weekend in a while.

* * *

I wish I’ve got lots and lots of money that I can just easily book flights out of the country to visit my friends anytime I want. Just like those effing army general wives here in our country.

bad purchase day

I just bought a new pair of shoes. This is only my 3rd pair as I’m not really a fan of collecting shoes. I got it with a 40% discount so it was supposedly a good buy. I had my sights on the red version (pictured below) but I went home with a blue pair instead.

The thing that I hate the most about shopping for shoes is that retail stores here in our country barely have my size on stock. So imagine my delight when I found out that they have my size on the red ones. But of course, with my luck, things were too good to be true. The pair that they gave me, which was also the last set, was of poor quality. It had spots of dried glue everywhere. From afar, most of them weren’t noticeable except for one, which, unfortunately, is at the front tip of the right shoe. Every time you would look down at it, that dark spot will be the first thing that you will see. And its not just any kind of stain that you can easily get rid of, believe me, I was trying to scratch it off for a good 5 minutes or so. With no luck on the glue stain, I ended up purchasing a blue pair instead.

What’s weird is, I can’t find any pictures of the blue model on the internet! I hope these are not fake! I paid good money for these. Haha…

* * *

And as if that wasn’t enough, when I asked my brother to buy me a cheap pair of flip-flops for daily use (my four year-old ones finally turned to dust), he got me a pair in bright green. Yeah, bright green. Some people may look good wearing this. I’m just sure I’m not one them.

Same color but cheaper brand.

Oh, well… I’ll just have to convince myself that I like these new purchases. I can still have the flip-flops replaced but the amount of money that I would use to return to the mall would be enough to get me another pair. This is just another sunk cost fallacy trap waiting to be tripped.

* * *

If I can’t control my urges. This will be my next mistake:

Alms for the poor?

According to my 1st quarter statement of account, I wasn’t able to save any money at all. In fact, I even lost 1.4% of my total savings. I’m so very disappointed with myself for letting this happen.

It’s a good thing that the car loan ended last March. That’s going to be a HUGE load off of my monthly dues.

By the way, did you know that a healthy savings account needs to have at least 5 times your gross monthly salary? That’s what we’ve been told on a seminar about smart investments. I think the computation is relative to your salary because we need to factor-in your lifestyle. I was already on track years ago but due to a very unfortunate incident, I lost all of my money and assets. Thanks to my rotten luck and this stupid recession, I’m still in the recovery phase. But, I’m not concerned, really. I believe all poor people are with me on this when I say that money doesn’t equate to happiness. Hehe…

Accepting donations.

omega pain

menthol liniment + eyes = fun

I’ve got perpetual back pains so I always keep a liniment handy. When my back ached last night for some unknown reason, I reached for the ointment and applied it on the problematic area. Being the absentminded fool that I am, I also accidentally used the same hand to rub an itching eye afterwards.

The liniment did work on alleviating my back pain because all I ever felt was the hot burning sensation (and minty fresh coolness) on my left eye.

And no, I didn’t cry. I don’t cry. Ever.

everybody wants to be a chef

How many people do you know wants to be a chef – or at the very least, wants to learn how to cook?  I know a lot. I’m not sure if it’s just with my network of friends but it seems like cooking has been a ‘frustration’ for most of us. Our desire to learn how to cook may be drawn from necessity to feed ourselves, from curiosity to explore what we are capable of, or even from obsessive behavior to just be good at something.

Although my reason doesn’t really fit into any of those stereotypes, I may categorize myself along with those who needs to learn how to cook to fend for themselves. My reason is simple. I love to eat. A lot. Unfortunately, I don’t have that much money to be always buying takeaways from fancy restaurants. So, like any cheapskate would do, I try to make my own gourmet food. 

Over the weekend, I’ve been craving for burgers.

Hmmm… Burgers…

There was a time when I was experimenting on some chicken burger patties that I scavenged off my parent’s freezer and I was able to create something H.I.D-like (H.I.D is a food joint that sells great chicken burgers) by simply adding cajun spices, steak sauce, and some other stuff that I don’t really remember. I don’t usually document my ingredients for I like to think of myself as a prodigy who can magically make food taste better without following measurements or recipes. Haha… Anyway, I wanted to recreate that masterpiece so I went to the grocery to look for those chicken burger patties and to buy some spices. But since the nearest grocery that we have is just a small supermarket, I had very limited options. The only spices available on the shelves are the basic ones, and the only available meat are those pre-processed, ready-to-cook beef burger patties. Since I’m really itching to make burgers, I bought some really cheap pepper steak marinade, some spices, and three variants of those locally made ‘ulam-burger-type’ patties.

As soon as I got home, I thawed the meat, added both the spices and the marinade, and sprinkled over some Worcestershire sauce. It really smelled great when it was on the griller so I was really excited. Well, you may have already guessed what happened next. Once it was done, I took an itsy-bitsy portion from one of the patties to taste it and as soon as it touched my tongue, I was coughing like crazy from all the spices and from the saltiness of the marinade.

I think I may have discovered the recipe for rat poison.

Oh, well… I should have just bought fast food with the money that I had.  Disappointed, I nibbled on a piece of bread that’s topped with tuna spread.

perfect procrastination

I just diagnosed myself to having Contingent-worth anxiety. I honestly don’t know what those words mean but I am certain that it is what I have. I read that from an article in lifehacker and its timing couldn’t have been better.

Here’s my story.

I usually like going to work, believe it or not. I barely use my leaves and I’m very well motivated – that is until a few weeks ago.

I really can’t explain it. Suddenly, I just wanted to stop reporting for work. I wanted to use up all my leaves and just do other stuff instead. During that time, I haven’t put much though into it so I wasn’t sure if this mood was brought about by the fact that:

• I’m not properly compensated (We NEVER are, right?)
• Our team underwent another re-org
• Most of my closest friends have left the company
• I barely have the chance to touch-base with my friends at work

But it wasn’t due to any of those reasons. I know this because:

• I get by with the money that I have
• I don’t care whom my boss is reporting to
• My closest friends are still my closest friends even if we are no longer working for the same company
• Its not the end of the world if I don’t get to hear Mark’s jokes or listen to Therese’s and Isaac’s misadventures. Although not getting enough attention from them can be a little bit disheartening – but still, I can work without it.

So, for the past few weeks, I was stuck with this mood, not knowing how to handle it.

And then I stumbled upon this article on procrastination due to perfectionism. It states that some perfectionists (including me) tend to procrastinate a lot because they want to make our output as perfect as humanly possible. I didn’t know that you can even relate perfectionism with procrastination but it sure does make sense.

The task that I’m working on at the moment is not really doomed to fail, however, in my opinion, I just know that it won’t be successful either. I kept on delaying my deliverables hoping that I will find a way to make it work better. As the days go by, I dreaded the day my boss follows up on my task’s status. My anxiety grew more and more to the point where I felt stressed even if I’ve just spent half of my shift browsing non-work-related sites.

I haven’t fixed this problem yet, but, at least now, I know what it is that I’m dealing with. And it’s a start. Hopefully, by next week, I should be back to my normal productive self.