liking the suspense

I sometimes scare myself with the stuff that I do. I don't know if what I'm doing is right but I've just recently learned something important that makes me want to still do it. I have learned that the regret that you'll feel after doing something incorrectly is nothing compared to the regret that you'll feel when you didn't try it at all.

Yep, if you fail, things may not have gone the way you wanted but, at least, you can put it behind you and move on.

This week, I've got my eyes set on something (Or someone? Haha, just kidding. But you'd never really know now, would you?) And for a week now, I've been doing a lot of things I don't normally do. I've gotten risky and I've been putting my faith on lady luck more than I should. So far, I'm thankful that I haven't sabotaged myself... yet. And to be honest, I'm still hopeful that I can be able to pull it off.

In the end, even if I fail, what's important is that I get to experience whatever it is that I went through. And along with it, gain the knowledge that I need to succeed the next time.

Wish me luck, guys. If you pray, please do pray for me. I need both. Haha.

jai guru deva, om

"Nothing's gonna change my world."

Everyday we go through different trials. The universe constantly challenge us by testing how far our patience can go, by driving us to the edge of our breaking points, and by questioning our beliefs and our faith in whatever it is that we believe in.

There are times when we think that it is easier to just give up. We think about why we have to go through all these pain and suffering. Disillusioned from thinking too much, we just let things get the better of us.  We let our patience run out. We break down. We stop believing.

I do that a lot. Yes, I do because I have a lot of freaking spare time to think about all these bad things happening in my life that normal people don't. But, admit it - sometimes, you are like me. There were times when you did not get what you want, felt low, and dwelt on it for the longest time. For sure, there were instances when you felt people didn't like you, and you got deeply affected by it. There were phases in your life when bad luck came one after the other... making you doubt if there isn't any more to life than getting over these misfortunes; leaving you dreading the next one that may come tomorrow. And every night, you stare blankly into the darkness, trying not to think too much about these. But you can't.

Obviously, I do not know the solution to life. Just look at me, I'm a mess. Haha...

Every individual have different coping mechanisms. Some sulk and contemplate suicide. Some just give the cold shoulder and keep these feelings buried deep inside. Some escape, distracting themselves with material things, friends, or whatever tickles their fancy. And some just keep looking at the bright side, hoping that they can sustain this point of view each and every time.

I don't know, for now, which among these is the correct way. But I know one thing is for sure. I know that it helps to keep an open mind. It helps to stop thinking. I helps to just let go and just be aware.

Jai guru deva, om.

I hope I get to sleep soundly tonight.

If you know this song, listen to it with me. I hope I can be in the same state of mind as the famous person who wrote it.

I'm sorry, John, but this version relaxes me more.

Beatles - Across the Universe (Fiona Apple Cover)

e-martial law?

I've got 10 years worth of blog posts that I need to censor because of this new anti-cyber-libel law.

If you've ever said anything defamatory online, whether it be a harmless sarcastic joke, a supposedly helpful in-your-face constructive criticism, or a straight-up insult... better take them down as soon as you can. You're looking at a 12-year sentence or a 1 million Peso fine if someone rats you out. And yeah, since apparently, this law transcends time, everything counts as long as it is still published online.

I'm pretty sure that flaming in forums can also be considered libelous with this new law. Good luck backtracking and deleting all those posts you made when you didn't agree with someone. They will come back to haunt you - even if you've hidden yourself behind an alias.

Read more about it here.