you've been warned

I have always loved gadgets. I feel satisfaction whenever I get to own the latest ones. Unfortunately for me, I don't earn that much so I can't really afford keeping up with the latest tech. The rent alone for my miniscule apartment is burden enough for me that I've considered getting a roommate to share my expenses with. However, being paranoid and untrusting of other people, I just chose not to. I just decided to start looking for a higher-paying job instead. Besides, living alone has its perks - I don't really need to clean up after myself and I can just leave my precious gadgets lying around.

Ever since I've looked for new job opportunities, I've always had my phone out so that I wouldn't miss any of the calls from my possible employers. It turns out that that wasn't a very good idea. I didn't know when it exactly happened, but all of a sudden, I just didn't have my phone anymore. I'm not sure if it got stolen or if I misplaced it but I'm sure that it's no longer with me. I spent a whole day trying to track it down but to no avail.

The timing just couldn't be any better. I really needed a replacement phone as soon as possible. Of course, being a tech junkie, I didn't want to settle for just any phone... I wanted the latest and the greatest. Since this is an unplanned purchase and I really don't have enough money to spare, I've decided to get a pre-owned top-of-the-line unit. Luck wasn't always against me because it was timely that such a phone was being sold online at a really cheap price. Dirt cheap. I scheduled an appointment with the seller to check the condition of the unit as soon as I could. The guy who was selling it looked really shady but since he had all the proof needed to verify that the phone wasn't illegally acquired, I struck a deal with him right then and there. It didn't matter that the unit was being sold for a suspiciously low price; what mattered was that it was cheap and everything’s seemed to be working properly.

I went home happy that day. And I've been happily tinkering with the phone every chance I got. I always have it by my side whenever I slept, using it until I'm too sleepy to hold it up to my face. But all of that changed the other day.

I was trying to pull out all of the pictures that I've saved on the phone so that I can back them up to my computer. While doing so, I noticed something weird. At certain intervals, there would be dark photos inserted within my photo stream. There were at least five of them, taken on different days. When I encountered them before on my phone's screen, I've always thought that they were just "accidentally-clicked" photos of the insides of my pocket. However, after lining the photos up and making a few adjustments on my computer, I realized that those were photos of my room - my bed actually... with me still sleeping on it!

All the hair at the back of my neck stood on its roots. I jumped off of my chair and I quickly turned all the lights on for I was really spooked. From a distance, I took a glance at the photos and noticed that all of the pictures were taken from a single perspective. It was angled in a way that it seemed to have been taken from one corner of my room.

I didn't know what I was thinking of - maybe it was the adrenaline, or maybe I was just trying to look for a logical explanation - but I decided to check if it was indeed my bed. I took the phone and went to the exact spot where I believe the picture was taken from. There was a chair at that corner of my room. It would seem as if the picture was taken by someone who was sitting down on it. And so I sat down, held my phone up and switched the camera on to check if that was indeed the exact spot. Just before the camera loaded, the lights on my room flickered. Freaked out, I dropped my phone and ran the hell out of there.

I haven't gone back since.

If you know me and you are trying to reach me through my phone, I suggest you stop. Someone, or something, might pick up.

under pressure

I've got a deadline coming up and I'm here sitting, posting about a video that has been looping in the background for hours now.

Queen and David Bowie - Under Pressure (Piano Cover)

I'm definitely under pressure. I hate deadlines. I was hoping the music would get my pendulum moving but I guess it isn't really helping. I've just been shouting my lungs out to the last part of the song over and over again. It actually feels good but it's not helping. Join me if you want though. I've posted the lyrics below so that you can shout it out with me.

Skip to 2:33 and let's go on 3.

1...
2...
3...

"'Cause love's such an old-fashioned word; and love dares you to care for the people on the edge of the night; and love dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves...

This is our last dance... this is our last dance.

This is ourselves under pressure."

Yeah! Another!

I've got a new idol. Move over Cobus... another genius is in town.

trying a bit too hard

The McDonalds commercial with the guy that's got a brother with Down Syndrome is, uhm, just okay. It has good intentions, it was tastefully made, it has okay actors, but it just didn't do it for me. Maybe the script plus the build-up was just too cheesy to be plausible? I felt that they just had to use a guy with DS to get a quick "awww" from viewers. In fact, if I look at it at another angle, they just actually promoted discrimination (through overly-emphasized special attention) against people with disabilities. In fairness to them though, trying to get people's attention over a few seconds of film is a bit of a challenge. It is hard, but it is possible. Heck, Bamboo's "Basta't May Plano" TVC made me cry even if I can't relate to the characters.

If I were given the chance to write the script for that commercial, I would have done it like this:

The commercial starts with a shot of a young teenage boy (the age when bullying is still very rampant) who is seen happily playing a game with his friends. The game can be simple, like tag or frisbee - but not actual sports. The camera's focus would be on the younger brother having fun in slow-mo... smiling and laughing with his friends and all. And then the boy's attention shifts to somewhere distant; as if seeing somebody familiar approaching. Without any change on his expression, still with a smile, the boy is seen motioning for someone to come over. Yep, you guessed it right. He's excitedly calling for his bother (who's got DS) to play with them. The camera then pans to the older brother who sees him and starts running to join them, seemingly excited to play as well. And they would play without prejudice and discrimination. The scene continous with the kids playing their game happily as if nothing is unusual... as if no one's sick. The actors don't really have to try hard to get the viewer's symphaty. They just need to make sure that their emotions are oblivious of any change that usually happens when we encounter people with DS. There's no special treatment or pity. It's just about a kid who wants his brother to play with them.

And then they'd all go to McDonalds afterwards to get those god-damned Minions Happy Meal. The end.

OR... I would retain the same commercial concept but I'd take out the DS angle completely. Instead of a guy with DS, the older brother would be a rich-looking professional wearing expensive-looking stuff. The younger brother would still go back to get an extra sauce packet because his older brother was busy talking over the phone (with a very expensive phone, perhaps) to do it himself. As the younger brother settles in his seat, the older brother puts down the phone and looks genuinely appreciative of his brother's attempt to treat him with breakfast. And they'd talk normally while eating their simple, affordable meal in contentment. The commercial ends with the older brother jokingly say, "bukas, sagot mo ulit a." The end.

That would have made me "awww" because my younger brother has yet to treat me breakfast. Haha...

happy nightmares

Why is it that every time I get scary dreams, I wake up happy. Yesterday, I woke up to rather unusual "nightmare." It wasn't about ghosts or zombies (my favorite), but instead it was a psychological thriller which felt like a cross between "The Usual Suspects" and "The Silence of the Lambs." Like most of my dreams, I've forgotten what it was about even if I've repeatedly told myself to remember the details. I still can't remember what made it special until now. I just remember that in the end, I realized that I made a wrong assumption in the beginning which created a ripple effect that affected the whole plot - much like the mistake of letting Keyser Soze walk out of the investigation in "The Usual Suspects." (If you haven't seen that film, I suggest you watch it as soon as you can. That's one of the best movies I've seen.)

Anyway, maybe I should keep a dream journal. I can probably get a good script out of those dreams. Also, I'm 90% sure that I dream in color which means I've got a good imagination (or is it I'm creative?) There was even a time when I dreamt of solving hard puzzles - in color. Top that!

I'm now looking forward to whatever it is that I'd be dreaming of tonight.

catharsis two

I've been meaning to tell you that you have made the right choice about a year ago. However, I don't want to put myself down either. So, no, I just won't. :)

My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my...

Birdy - Skinny Love

It worked out in the end though, right?

stigma

Overly-dramatic posts, whether they'd be inspirational or thought-provoking, only works if you time your postings right. If you flood news feeds with the same sh*t every single day, you're just an annoying emo who should probably just kill himself (or herself.) Even if what you've posted is good, if you've saturated your audience with the same stuff over and over again, they'll probably just roll their eyes at it because they are already fed up with your drama. They'll just skip your post as soon as they see your name.

Having said that, I will temporarily unsubscribe from your feeds, my friend, until I've flushed all your rubbish off of my system. Too bad I've always admired your work. You're like Pink's song, "Just Give Me A Reason." It was interesting the first time I heard it; then I wanted to hear more and listened to it a few more times in awe; then I unintentionally hear it everyday because it is playing everywhere I go; and now I'm fed up with it to the point where I want to hit something every time I hear it.

* * *

I should walk the talk, right? Haha... I don't post often. I only post when I'm stressed out at work or if I'm emotionally distraught - in short, I post a lot of rants. If this is the first time you've visited my blog and you've read my posts continuously "digest-style", you've probably pictured me as a whinny fifteen-year-old girl that you just want to slap endlessly into oblivion. Hahaha... Anyway, I'll try to mix things up and post happy thoughts in between my rants. The problem is, my blog is the opposite of Facebook. Facebook is used as a facade to show other people how "happy" and "successful" some people want others to think of them even if they're really not. I don't do that. I don't want to be the center of anyone's envy - I live in a country where crab-mentality is commonplace. That will be like advertising my goods to thieves. Instead I want people to think of me as a miserable old fool just so they'll lay off my back. 

that laugh

Mike suggested that I watch talent show "fails" to help me get a good night's sleep. I'm not really sure how this works for him but perhaps slapstick humour is his cup of tea. Maybe, seeing other people embarrass themselves sort of reminds us that sh*t happens to everyone and not just us, thus making us relax a bit more. This probably helps by stopping us from dwelling too much on the unfortunate things that recently happened to us and focus instead on somebody else's misfortune.

Just the other day, I really needed a good stress reliever so I gave in to his suggestion and watched a few "audition fail" videos. In doing so, I ran across some clips from Britain's Got Talent or X Factor UK (I couldn't really tell which is which) where Louis Walsh, a very giggly guy, is judging. In almost every video, it was impossible not to see Louis laugh. After a few hours of this, I said to myself: "Thirty years from now, that's going to be my laugh."

Seriously, he has got to have the best laughing face ever. If in case he was mocking me by laughing at me, I would have probably laughed with him. I can probably watch a whole episode of him laughing. I don't know... I think it's one of those contagious laughs that you won't find irritating no matter how inappropriate it is.

Take a look at this, for example:

I think the technique is in the eyes.

And so now, I've got a new goal in life. I will learn and master that laugh.