Lola Lydia

Lola passed away yesterday. She was turning 96 in July. Although we knew that she only had a few years left on her, her death still took us by surprise. It all happened so suddenly. She was still doing fine a few days ago but then she just started losing appetite and things came snowballing fast. She suddenly started having problems breathing and the next thing we knew, she was gone.

I love my Lola so much. I was her favorite. I was Lola’s boy. With both my parents away at work back then, it was Lola who was with me all the time. You know how when we were kids and it was our first day at school, we’d cry for a day until we see familiar faces again? That was Lola for me, both literally and figuratively.

During the times when I felt insecure of the attention given to my siblings (as I was a middle child), I always remember that I am Lola’s boy and I have nothing to be jealous of.

When we were malling as kids, it was Lola’s hand that I hold so that I’ll feel safe. That remained true even as I got older and even when the roles have reversed. I may be holding her hand to guide her because she can’t walk by herself anymore, but the truth is, I still hold her hand because I feel comfort whenever I do so.

Lola was my foundation and I am who I am because of her. I’ve always admired how selfless and kind-hearted she was. Always putting everyone else above herself. She was a simple grandmother. She never desired anything for herself. All she cared about was taking care of us, her family.

I’m having a hard time accepting she’s now gone because I always felt that she deserves to be rewarded more in this world. That’s how great of a person she is for me. But, I also just remind myself that she’s gone to be a better place now, a place where her knees don’t hurt anymore. And that I should be happy for her.

I miss you so much, Lola Lydia. I’m sorry I didn’t take your goodbyes seriously and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Please take your well-deserved rest in heaven and don’t worry about us anymore. I love you so much.