Yep, I've got issues.
Maybe because I was born a middle child that I've become prone to being envious of the people around me. I've got a constant need to be better than everyone else because, by default, that is the only way for me to get attention. Between the happiness brought upon by the anticipated "firsts" of the eldest child and the satisfaction acquired from the sheltering of the youngest, the only thing that's left for me is indifference.
Why did it have to be me?
"Hello, hello? Did you find your self-esteem?"
Yep, I may be damaged.
Scars of battles lost that remain hidden under a flamboyant facade reminds me that I was a fool to believe that I can get what I want. With the pressure from society to conform to standards I don't believe in, I feel like I'm being held back. And the scars remind me that there is nothing I can do about it but just go with flow and see where the current takes me - even if I drown.
Why did it have to be like this?
"Hello, hello? Did you find your self-esteem?"
Yep, I'm about to lose hope.
Despite lots of people reaching out to help, I chose to ignore them for I remain oblivious of this one-track-mind mentality. I take for granted the people who are here for me because I focus too much on my selfish needs that I can't seem to satisfy. And I am now slowly losing hope without even noticing it.
"Hello, hello? Did you find your self-esteem?"
* * *
I'm too sleepy to even finish this post... zzzZZZzzz...
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