mourning deaths

• Denial and isolation: May. It was something I never saw coming. A weakness, a mistake, and a wrong decision I desperately tried to ignore. I looked the other way, pretending everything is okay.
• Anger: June – July. I blamed society, I blamed insecurities, I blamed our jobs and its lack of compensation, and I blame everything and everyone except myself. I’m angry as there is pain hidden deep within me.
• Bargaining: August. I compromised. Novenas, prayers, sacrifices... I bargained to prolong the inevitable.
• Depression: September to present. Regret. I feel disappointed with myself. I feel lonely as I’m learning to accept things as they are – finally letting go. With the reality sinking in, I am overcome with sadness.
• Acceptance: Someday, hopefully soon, I can be offered the opportunity to make peace with all that has happened.